Here you can find a fine selection of Sailors Jokes...it will be updated regulary...

feel free to send a good one you know to Sailors-Forum@telering.at

Lift off...

What is the difference between a Bud Light and having sex on a yacht.....

....nothing....it is FUCKING CLOSE TO WATER !

Why so many ships sink...

- Roll over like an Eskimo !?!?

- Never Captain!

- - You can bet on it !!!

A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?''

The guy next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''

The sailor says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times.''

Two Sailors boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Atlanta, headed for Norfolk. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.
Just before takeoff, a Marine got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Sailors. The Marine kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Sailor in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Marine, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the Sailors picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it.
When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Sailor said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other Sailor picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Marine returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Norfolk.
As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on? This tragedy? This farce?" the Marine asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

feel free to send a good one you know to Sailors-Forum@telering.at

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last update: 19 Mai, 2008  

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